Another edition of grinding gears

Earlier this week I posted this about what really grinds my gears. I've decided to widen the scope of what qualifies for these types of rants and have compiled a list below of criteria:

• Things that don't make any sense or were developed during a period that was lacking quite common sense
• Stuff that sucks
• Stuff that ticks me off
• Ironic things
• Things that are hilarious because they're blunt or sarcastic

I realized that a lot of things could fall under these guidelines but that's ok because I don't have time to think of 18 different genres for different blog posts. This is all encompassing. Take it or leave it. Please don't leave it. I actually put thought and considerable sarcastic effort into these posts so that you can all be entertained for 3 minutes everyday.

Ok - so for this edition of You Know What Really Grinds My Gears (to be recognized as YKWRGMG from here on out):  Crappy Shoes From K-Mart

Hyatt needed work shoes when we first got here because bringing them from home wasn't an option. So we went to K-Mart and got what we thought were decent work 'boots' for him to wear during projects at Dookie and for general work-iness. They have recently crapped out on him. See for yourself:

It's safe to say his shoes have been telling him they're done since the soles are flapping about.

We're off to buy another pair tomorrow. No use spending a ton of $$ on some nices ones when we're moving in 2.5 months (but who's counting?).

Until tomorrow,
~ Buzzard ~

Rest in Pieces

Lois died.

Remember Lois?

A short synopsis of her death (in Hyatt's words):

"She overheated on the way to Dookie. Cracked the headgasket which ruined the aluminum block. She was towed to Wallan, stripped of her registration and is now sitting in the junkyard."

We got a refund on the remainder of her registration (whoo hoo for ~ $250) but unfortunately we won't be able to re-sell her in December which leaves us out $1000. Such is life and sometimes life sucks.

Most importantly, we're on foot. Thank goodness we live in the city and not 2 hours away. We can still take the trams or walk to the few destinations we visit.

A short obituary by me:

Lois, you will not be forgotten. We will miss your squeaky fanbelt, broken backseat window and shoddy paint job. May you be reincarnated as a shiny, black Chevrolet Corvette.

In lieu of flowers, please make donations in the name of the Lois Frobose Memorial Scholarship for American-Australian Fulbright Recipients.

Until tomorrow,
~ Buzzard ~

Battlewounds from Pork

Hyatt's trial is almost done. I have just finished washing off the sweat, pig crap, sheep crap, dirt and blood from a 12 hour day of livestock work. Yes, I said blood.

We loaded pigs this evening. I had a run-in with a nasty boar. This was the result.

Look at ma face!

While it's safe to say that the boar definitely won the battle after throwing the sorting board back at my face (literally), I can most assuredly claim I won the war. I'll be still be alive in 12 hours and he, well.....

I think I'd look good in a Bruce Willis movie.

Hyatt told me, "Guys dig scars."

Grrrrrrrrrreat.

You may notice that I am wearing my "I dig the pig" shirt from the Ohio Pork Producer's Council.

I am not, currently, digging the pig.

More tomorrow (but less blood),

~ Buzzard ~

The Rental Saga Continues...

When we last spoke of renting and landlords, we were in the process of taking our 'landlord' of the ML to court.

The latest update is that since we moved is that we were waiting on the form from the court system to inform us of the date.
We waited. and waited and waited - finally, we got sick of waiting and Hyatt called the office yesterday while we were driving back from Sydney. Our meeting was Monday. The notice was mailed on March 30 - we left for Sydney on the 12th. We got back this evening (19th) and it's still not here. Never got the notice! Crap. Can we just catch one break while we are here? just one?
We are applying for a review of the case so we can have 'our day in court.' I'll let you all know how that goes.

The worst part is probably that Hyatt emailed our 'landlord' on April 13th to let her know that we hadn't yet found out when we'd be going to court but we'd let her know when we did.  She knew and didn't tell us. Awesome.
Cheers
FroBuzz

Clearing the Air

First off -we're not pregnant - thank God. And honestly, I'm a little disappointed at the lack of name suggestions on the part of you all. Thanks for nothing. Except Emily, who suggested Fred.

Other than that we had a fairly mild AFD - although the drama of moving to Australia continues in the next chapter titled:

Our New Car....That Died

That's right folks - we finally got a car so we don't have to walk all over this town. A brand new (to us) Hyundai Elantra and we were very excited to be rolling the streets of Melbourne in style.....and then Hyatt called to tell me that the car died after only driving 20km (12.5 miles) away from the dealership. Not a joke and not cool.

Awesome friends Maree and Dean picked Hyatt up and brought him back to the house and promised they would sort out the car problems with Tony, the car dealership owner (Maree and Dean suggested this guy so they were more than happy to jump in and make sure we were treated fairly).

So we left the car locked in a parking lot and went hiking in the Grampians today. Will find out more about the car tomorrow.

Cheers,

~ FroBuzz ~

My Legs Hate Me

Ok – as I mentioned earlier, we went to Target (no Wal-Mart’s here) so we could get bedding, towels – and other basic necessities. Prior to this we needed sustenance – having purchased not so much food for quite a lot of money (food is expensive – I’ll explain later) we were starved and could think of nothing better than….McDonald’s.  A ravenous hunger was building for greasy hamburgers and hot, salty French fries.  We set out hoping to find the golden arches. About a mile later we were standing in the air conditioned Mecca. Salt and grease never tasted so good and the only downside was that free refills, well, they’re not free. Damn.

During our long walk to McD’s I asked for directions to a store that sold bedding. A short, incoherent, homeless looking woman gave us ‘directions’ to Bunnings. Mistake number one? Asking her for directions. She said it was ‘quite a bit of a walk’ but we had walked a large amount already and figured it couldn’t hurt. What was mistake number 2? Taking her advice unaware of the consequences. A mere 20 blocks later we arrived at a sporting goods store and asked if we were near Bunnings because we were looking for bedding.  The salesman looked at me, entertained by my obvious foreign accent and utter lack of knowledge of the area, and said “yeah, there is a Bunnings near but you won’t find any bedding there. Target has bedding – blah blah blah directions, directions, more walking, blah blah blah.” The kind man pointed us to Target – only another mile or so walk away.  Are you keeping track of the distance? Because we most certainly weren’t.

Finally arrived at the shopping center that was home to Target after bypassing Bunnings – what is Bunnings you ask? It’s a hardware store – I’m sure they have some lovely bedding. Somewhere.  We found all our supplies: towels, sheets, shampoo and conditioner (way over priced) trashcans and pillows. At 4:45 the lights started to flicker and then we realized the store closed at 5. Hyatt went to pay for everything while I sprinted to the TeleChoice store to get some pre-paid phones. Phones and internet are pay as you go here and service plans are exponentially different and confusing.

Finally left Northland Shopping Center and proceeded to walk the 3 miles back to the ML carrying pillows, towels and electronic staples (phones, internet modem, DVD player)..…in the rain.

The next morning I started searching craigslist for one of these bad boys.

Cheers,
~ Buzzard ~

Mishaps

No one has said "G’day mate" to me – I’m slightly irritated. TV and movies teach Americans that everyone in Australia says "G’day mate". Not true.

Quick honeymoon rundown – we went to Fiji – it was mind blowingly perfect and gorgeous. See?

(I took those pictures, seriously)

But alas, we left and flew to Melbourne. Got here at 10ish on a Friday night - $60 cab ride to the meth lab which we will be calling 'home' for the next ten months.  **Note: It's not really a meth lab - it just reminds me of one.  I've actually never seen a meth lab but it's what I think would remind me of one if I had ever been in one.** Completely exhausted from traveling, I wasn't expecting to see a meth lab when I opened the door but can't really do much about it.

Anyway, so we get to the methlab and our belongings (carried in a mere 4 large suitcases and 4 small) are:

- clothes for 10 months (not as much as you'd think)

- The Office - all 6 released seasons

- Family Guy - all seasons
- movies

-  laptops

- shoes (i brought more than Hyatt -surprise)

- my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook

- other various books

Notice there are no items in the BEDDING or BATHROOM TOWELS/SUPPLIES  categories?  Our first night we had to use the two paper-thin airplane blankets and our neck-pillows.  Not near as bad as it sounds but definitely funnier.

Saturday morning: shower time. But Brandi, you ask, how ever did you shower without towels and shampoo? My close friends know me as a kleptomaniac at heart. Therefore, we used the shampoo and conditioner I stole from Maria, the hotel maid's, cart.  Furthermore -- we enjoyed our single plush white towel that I lifted from the Sofitel in Fiji (also from Maria's cart).  Mission: cleanliness. Complete. Thank you, Maria.

Question: what do two American students who are fully reliant on cell phone use to tell time without phones or computers.

Answer: they don't.

Morning came when we woke up on our own which was about 7:30-- that's the earliest I've been up on a Saturday in a very long time. First thing on the agenda: find a timepiece.  Bought a snazzy clock at the $2 shop for guess how much?  $9 - ha. Gotcha

After feeling a little more in touch with reality we realized that since we had absolutely no food we had to go grocery shopping. Easier said than done. Australians eat much more fresh food than we do in America so there are a lot of fresh meat and produce markets. Very cool but takes many trips to several different stores to get everything on the list. We also discovered a Safeway (Woolworths type grocery store) - couldn't really buy everything we needed because almost everyone walks and carries their stuff instead of driving. Our seemingly 100 block walk (really only 12ish) back to the meth lab seemed to take forever. That was nothing compared to the walk back from the Target.

But more on that tomorrow - for now I leave you with a picture of my new best friends... Earl and Edwin.

Edwin, Earl and I have been spending quality time together seeing as I've walked about 20 miles (not km) in the past two days. My legs hate me.

Love you and miss you all in America -- we'll chat again soon.

Cheers (that's what the Aussies say) ;)

~ Buzzard ~