Dear Gangstas

To the so-called 'gangstas', hoodlums and hoons of Melbourne,

1. You live in Australia; a country in which it is illegal to peel out ANYWHERE and it's easier to get a date with the Queen than it is to get a gun - you are not a gangsta.
2. That shaved head and rat-tail of which you're so blatantly proud? Australia is the only country in the world where people think that's even remotely cool. The rest of the world thinks you look like an idiot, including me.

gross

3. Skinny jeans that only come to the bottom of your buttcheeks are even more stupid-looking than baggy jeans that rest at a similar level.
4. I shouldn't even have to tell you this but gangstas don't wear skinny jeans.
5. You cannot be a gangsta on a skateboard - have you never heard of the Crips and Bloods?
6. I am NOT your baby - stay the eff away from me before I judo chop your ass.

Sincerely,
Brandi L. Buzzard

I'm not Canadian

Another installment of YKWRGMG - with a disclaimer first.

I have a handful of Canadian friends. They are all very cool and I think Calgary, Alberta is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. That being said....

I'm not Canadian.

And this week, I've been asked if I'm Canadian several times. At least twice per day.

As I said, I have nothing against Canada or Canadians but I'm an American.

Loud and proud. American.

It REALLY upset me last week when a guy asked me if I was Canadian and then after I replied that I was indeed, American, he told me, "EH, SAME THING."

Uh, no. Not even close.

So, as future advice to those who may encounter international students or guests: It's ok to guess someone's nationality incorrectly but it's not okay to say that their country is the same as your incorrect guess. Rude.

Again, to my Canadian friends who are reading this (cough; Crystal) - Canada was awesome and I really think I could enjoy living in Alberta.

TTFN
~ Brandi ~

p.s. Hyatt told me to tell ya'll (see, I'm American) that he isn't Irish. Apparently, he has been called Irish several times this week. It's an intercultural marriage - Irish and Canadian ;)

Uncommonalities

Maybe it's because I'm in a city of 3.5 million but grew up in a town of 350. Or maybe it's just because there is some weird crap going on in Melbourne, but the other day I witnessed 'chroming'. Vickey, Maree, Sarah and I were out shopping in the suburbs picking up some shelving and Costco necessities when I saw a guy wearing a miniskirt and wedge flip flops and he had blue paint all over his face. He was carrying a plastic grocery bag and looked like he was cracked out.

I stared with my mouth wide open as he walked past (rude, yes) while the other three laughed at me.  Apparently, inhaling spray paint out of a plastic bag is the new rad way to get high - it also makes your face the color of your choice of paint. Freakin' crazy. He was walking down the street doing this. Ah, the sights of city life.  Does this happen other places or am I just that sheltered?

Cheers,
~ FroBuzz ~